Chuck Klosterman Doesn't Love Me (March 19, 2010)

This is an excerpt of something that I apparently wrote on March 19, so about a month ago. And I was clearly just as crazy then as I am now.


I’m reading and drinking tea. Well, technically I’m not; I’m writing on paper, but seconds ago I was reading and drinking tea while still slowly working my way through Chuck Klosterman’s IV (which is a shame because I was certain I’d be finished by now).

Anyway, whenever I read CK my mind semi wanders away from the text and onto relationships. In itself, that’s bizarre because relationships are never Klosterman’s focal point. Although today I have posed two answers to this query: 1.) Chuck Klosterman is my soul mate; 2.) Chuck Klosterman would never love me. The latter is more likely (which is unfortunate). I feel myself falling in love with CK more and more with the more pages I read. From his writing, I feel that that is exactly who he is: what he writes. He is a bit over dramatic, but extremely intelligent. And what intellectuals aren’t over dramatic? I’m attracted to some private chaos, but public collectiveness. And that seems to be what Klosterman is based off his writing (both fiction and nonfiction). Basically, it all comes down to this: if Klosterman would turn out to be the man he is in my head, then he is my perfect mate. Which also means Chuck Klosterman will never want me.