All whiteys should read this book.

I have been reading the book Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander. I've gone through it before, but never as thoroughly as I am now. For those of you who aren't familiar with the book (about 85% or more of my Facebook friends), it is a compilation of various things that members of White society typically like and/or love. At the end there is even a checklist to help you determine just how "white" you are. The only thing I critique Lander on is that he is missing a few vital points, such as:

Jigsaw Puzzles- Now this might just be me, but I am a whitey and I LOVE jigsaw puzzles. Why? I don't fucking know, but it's a fact.

King of the Hill- The epitome of the perfect white family. Every white person wishes to settle down somewhere family friendly once in their 40s, and raise their children (that are somehow more unique than everyone else's children). Mom cooks and cleans. Dad works and drinks "his" beer.

Midnight Movie Showings- Every midnight showing I have been to has been swarmed with youngish to oldish hipster white people. Something about being dog tired forcing yourself to stay up until two in the morning is as fascinating to white people as porno is to lonely fat guys. There is a literal connection with midnight showings to white people. Somehow you can't be cool unless you have seen at least 5 movies out on DVD on the big screen for 7 to 10 dollars.

Record Stores- So we all know Amoeba, yes? Granted all races shop there, you will predominately find it strewn with whiteys. White people find it a requirement to forever be up to date with everything that has anything remotely to do with pop-culture.

Purchasing Vinyl- It's not so much for the fact that they enjoy the sound of a record over a CD. What the white person loves is for other people to see them buying records and for their friends to see a mass record collection at their house. By simply owning vinyl, you are cool.

The Book Stuff White People Like- They can't get enough of saying it's so true, it's so true to all one hundred-fifty items on the list.

Writing/Reading in Public: White people don't write and read for pleasure, this is why you never see them do it in their homes. What they really love is for other people to think they write and read for pleasure, so that they can tell themselves how much more intellectual they are than the people who rush out of the coffee shop to their high paying jobs.

There are a few more, but may perhaps be too offensive, and granted all white people say they don't get easily offended they fucking do. And they hold grudges like a motha-fucka!